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Twice I guess

Ever felt insignificant and still proud about it? I have. Twice I guess if I can recollect clearly. The feeling of being nothing and something at the same time is purely humbling and nothing short of an awakening. Possessing the power to bring change or being impactful, no matter at what end of the spectrum the nature of impact lies at. It’s happened. Twice I guess if I can recollect clearly.

The first was on a road trip. Tired and aching with absorbing as much as one possibly can, I trudged atop a hill that looked more like a summit put together by gathered pebbles. Reaching the top with my legs racing ahead of the synapses sent to it from my medulla oblongata the lactic acid build up in my calves calmed me down. As I settled down to gather my sense of achievement of reaching the top, I was ambushed by a sight that simply wrecked apart the pleasure-seeking motives I had chased all year long. Gazing across a torrid landscape of orange rock and green plantain leaves that seemed to throng the far reaches of a southern Indian temple like devotees at the end of their religious journey, the picture was a painting. Then it hit me, the sheer volume of beauty that I was coming through to reach the top that I now saw as a collective mass was humbling. Why does one admire what one already has only if it’s shown to him differently?

The second was at another mountain range (Matheran - A hill station near Mumbai). May be I have something to do with altitude. But, this was unintentional. The location I mean. Walking along a railway line that it was narrow gauge I remember, I came upon a clearing in the bushes that ran alongside the tracks. (Walking ahead of a group is something I always do for fear of stepping on the feet of those ahead of me & I hate being obstructed by a slower walker ahead of me) Coming back to the story, I stepped into the track that the clearing led to. Walking along the track I ended at a cliff that overlooked a vast plain that was a meeting ground for two valleys. I could see the skies overlaying the plain merge like two colours of paint contributing to a roaring din that my ears just did not seem to mind. For a moment I imagined myself being looked at from a bird’s eye view. In the vast expanse of what I saw, I realised just how much our actions are adding to all that exists around us. I also saw smoke billowing out from the forest below only to be informed that it could be an illegal country liquor brewery. No matter how small something might be its implications could be massive. Starting then, I decided to drop anger, negativity as well as regret. I still struggle with the last one. Why does one realise what one can do or is doing only when he is able to see the larger picture? Or how great a picture is when you zoom out of its pixel views? Everything is important.

I guess my rationale for a life was found then.

Always see the larger picture.
Live happy & make happy.
Everything & everyone is important.
Create stuff.

How far have I implemented these? It’s happened. Twice I guess if I can recollect clearly.


This is the closest I think I can get you to feeling what I did without being there.

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There is this strange familiarity water has.
When you are in it ensconced and alone you aren't really alone for its swallowed you whole within itself.
A lot like love.
Its all around you when you are in it.
You see though it and its still there - everywhere.