One often feels what it would be like to walk the talk to perfection. On most days its convenience over passion. Its feasibility over ideals. It's what would delight others but keep you satisfied.
Not on the day you are getting married though. There you want to be elated & not just happy. You want to be delighted & not just satiated.
So when one decided to tie the knot, kiss the bride & ride into the sunset it was pretty clear that there would be no ropes to be tied down with or veils to hide under nor any dust to cloud the sun that simmers the horizon. No if's & maybes. Just what you want & how you want it to be and that we did.
So our wedding* defied norms and also broke away from tradition & the as expected way of doing things was put aside. I wish I could spare use of the word norm and use culture instead-but dogma & faith are so closely wrapped with respect and honour given to people and things that culture takes a back seat so far away that one can't even see it in the rearview mirror. What did we do? Here goes.
- Women le(a)d the way:
- We had two lady priestesses from Jnana Prabodhini (the more one speaks about them the less it is) who conducted the ceremony. They translated every word & involved everyone at the wedding to bless us with verses and prose that incorporated our vows & wishes. More on that here.
- We had Nupur who shot and filmed us at every step. No props, no quirks and absolutely no drama or difficulty that could have come with the opposite sex (smirk). The wife & haven't leaned onto each other so much or smiled effortlessly in a long time. Our wedding images give you glimpses that look like a behind the scenes, fly on the wall - the third party point of view. We couldn't be happier.
- My pastry chef sister - Neha did the wedding cake & it was just what we wanted. Simple, loaded with emotions & loved by all (almost sounds like the wedding). Her ability to put together a wedding cake while in a lehnga is unbelievable. Not forgetting the fact that she managed the decor & added her own touches to things.
- Some customs were given a Bidaai:
- We got married when we wanted to. There wasn't any muhurat. In fact, we wanted to get married in time for dinner. Blame the Punjabi genes & dire need to be on time all the time.
- The mangalsutra, kanya daan & bidaai did not find the way into the itinerary. Its 2021 folks! Kudos to the priestesses & parents for being on board with us.
- We blended Kashmiri & Punjabi rituals and traditions we wanted. None that were regressive or old school. Our decor too incorporated aspects of our culture that we wanted to retain, share and show off.
- We had music that was curated off our tastes. Kudos for those annoying Spotify ads - they worked. We did shift to premium and also a laptop that some ladies in the party played the music from. We were our own DJ barring one night where we wanted everyone to be happy, high and irresponsible.
- We wanted it to be easy on the environment:
- The outlandish decor was parted ways with. We wanted a wedding that was minimum on cash & trash. Our decor had fairy lights & cloth that would be reused later. We even went out to look for food donors for excess catering if any. COVID played spoilsport sadly.
- We sourced and designed the table decor for the wedding as well as the other functions that had photographs, cultural items and also the ring presentation. All of this came from home and went back home too.
- We had digital invites for all guests. A physical card was replaced with a WhatsApp version instead. Family Whatsapp groups were buzzing. Luckily with joy. It is indeed 2021 folks!
- COVID ensured we could not have everyone we loved. Friends and relatives, grandparents and siblings - many could not make it. As much as we mull over that, it ensured everyone at our wedding knew everyone else by the end of it. So we took that as a blessing.
*way before a celebrity posted about her wedding that defied societal norms and the media made it almost like it was a first.
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