Mind Frame

A year ago if someone said that I would be married in a proper sit-down ceremony, I would have baulked.  A sit-down wedding has several memories & moods to it. Much of it is a mess  or is at an ungodly hour with numerous loud people, kids high on sugar & the list is endless. If none of these tick any of your boxes then there is the arduous task of keeping someone in the bloodline happy by sitting in a cross-legged position for a ceremony that is not only commercialized but also incomprehensible & at times regressive. Not to forget the numbness in the legs that makes you feel like you are floating while you actually were completely grounded for almost 3 hours prior. Cut to the chase, when we decided to marry we wanted to skip this entirely in exchange for a court marriage. There was no way we could have simplified or modified the wedding. Also, what about the ceremony being understood & enjoyed? There were strict rules & stereotypes that are to be follo...

While the year had so much riding on it and it failed to deliver in many ways, one can think of few successes & a lot to be indebted for.  Life and health was retained, lived through and also scraped by for some people in the family.  So, looking over the shoulder one has the following to be thankful for health and stable ground beneath the feet. The following are my reasons: Survived 9 tropical storms and typhoons in the Philippines (wait there is more) in all of 2020. Survived a massive volcanic eruption that blanketed Manila in Ash for over 3 days and 2 days of WFH in Feb (the absolute anxiety of the volcano staying on grade 3/5 and its past notorious history being unimaginable). Survived 3 major quakes that are close to anything that can imagine as near certain death. Survived COVID (so far) home quarantine, social distancing and the lack of high fives and hugs . Survived a 7 hour sweeper flight of Air India taking me (after numerous calls and form filling with the Ind...

Nothing beats the joy of shared experiences such as living a rare moment together with those you love the most. That I guess is the biggest gift that one can receive from life or give to oneself. (Landing home for the holidays and taking all by surprise; Dec 2019)

It's over a year since I wrote something here and maybe because there wasn't much time to ponder over things or things to ponder over. Either ways, there are always learnings and lessons and these are the ones that I have. Focus on people and things that add positive energy. Discard those who sap it out and contribute only the negatives. It's good to say no, I disagree or I cannot comply. Work life balance is not an individual goal or possibility. It is a shared task and not a goal. Focus on some or fail on all. Always move forward.   Family comes first, friends come next. All else is the world or acquaintances as we call it and it - does not matter. Focus on what you want . All else follows. Happiness has a recipe . Spare time is gold. Financial planning is a great  routine . Gifting is therapeutic.  Airport arrivals are the happiest places on earth (almost as much as school gates at 3pm on a Friday). Emails are warm blankets when written to...

My attempt to do a self-conversation using the Arthur Aron set of 36 questions. Aren't we the most important person to ourselves? 1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? My granddads. They left too soon. Outside family, it would be Mahendra Singh Dhoni, Prithviraj Chauhan, Sam Maneckshaw. 2. Would you like to be famous? In what way? My humour would be stretching it. Anonymity is a gift I am told so, No. 3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Why? Not for the ones I love. 4. What would constitute a perfect day for you? Brunch by the sea, evening by a fire and a dinner under the stars. 5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? Last week maybe. High on a new song. 6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose? The mind of a 30-year-old. The mind is a dangerou...

The things that have changed in life ever since I moved far east. I am no longer Akshay but AK. At restaurant reservation desks, client meetings, emails and receipts as well. Chopsticks are a part of kitchen cutlery and so is soy sauce a staple part of the diet. Officially an NRI now and that warrants an NRI account to be opened soon. Hate the tag. I have 700 unspent India rupees lying on the kitchen counter. Need to get rid of them before De-Moditisation takes toll on the 100s The laptop and phone now  keeps track of 5 times zones. DC, Melbourne, Qatar  & home of course. Mango pickle is a highly traded commodity. Local Indian store is on uber and saved places on maps. Shaving cream is on the endangered species list. Foam is challenger. I only cross (well mostly) at zebra crossings.  Tagalog is getting added to a list of languages I know a smattering of.

If I say a lot happened this year it will be quite the understatement of sorts.  Life took all kinds of turns around bends that could give anyone a heart attack and also had its share of astronomical highs that one had never anticipated. If you saw a number 9 of the Indian cricket team score a ton in a test last week, my life felt the same too. Although, the speed at which it came was akin to a ton in a T20.  Never been the one to complain but this year seemed to be one of the toughest in terms of a million things such as the health of loved ones. However, it was one of the best years of my life too when you see all that the universe conspired to throw at me. Not one to trust in religion, I have consistently believed that life's zeniths are not far behind from its dreariest lows. It reminds me of an old post that I wrote on up being the only way to go when you are at the bottom is up. That has been followed to tee and I am proud to say so. - Person...

Ek jagah hogi, jo jahaan hoga. Dhoondha na jaane kise, kahaan-kahaan hoga.

Some puzzles are so beautiful, one wonders how they are a perfect reflection of you.

If we could drink what we write, imagination would be the cheapest drug on the street,

Patriotism for me was best depicted when SRK (in Swades) looks out of his window seconds before he is to set foot in India. Nothing describes detachment better than the wheels of a plane seconds after take off. This was exactly the opposite - done brilliantly. Meanwhile, AR Rahman used only 5 notes of the shehnai for SRK & the audiences to feel homesick repeatedly in the film. Even those who were in India felt homesick/guilty. The first film in a long time that did not show patriotism in the light  of violence, hatred and turbulent times and still struck a chord with the audiences. Wonder where the wiser filmmakers are hiding now or are the scripts. PS: This was also a rare time when an SRK films made sense to me. (I know this comment will draw flack for me)

Claimer: This series of published facts are based on true events and a nights of a horrid experience. Resemblance to most weddings is, was and will stand true for all weddings that are yet to happen too. Weddings in India are almost like an airport battling a backlash of passengers of 20 delayed flights.  30 year old's are arguing at the bar (for free food coupons at the airline counter) with spirit akin to Kejriwal before he came to power, teenagers are strewn across the floor/halls (mostly around charging points) & the seniors are lying in flat beds (occupying as many as possible and blocking some for an unaccounted passenger too).  Mothers and wives of the 30 year old are eyeballing stewards for larger helpings of the 'daal makhni or butter chicken' (airports only serve bone dry sandwiches and tea that is flatter than gujrati thepla though) Air hostesses and ground support staff resembling over dressed chirpy friends/cousins and college friends of the bride who...

So 2015 was quite uneventful & drab but even then it has its share of personal achievements that I can think of. Clicking pictures and writing took a back seat, I chose to soak it all in rather than look through the viewfinder that often. I traveled and how. A personal decision became a mission and one that was well achieved. Where all did I go? Amsterdam, Delhi (Thrice), Chennai (Twice), Goa, Srinagar - Gulmarg, Pondicherry. Can't wait to better this in 2016.  Cooked to save a life and more. Chicken curries and rice and a tad bit more. I want to move onto making cocktails now. Traveled with my sibling. While I have traveled with friends, family & cousins I have never traveled with her alone. Went to Kashmir. The place was home once - as my grand mom tells me & exactly how she described it from memory. Two of my closest friends got married. One after over 12 years of courtship. True love exists. Attend a Telugu wedding - check. Aced all my tests - blood tests o...

2015 was a let down of a year. 1. Passenger planes across the world crashed, were shot down or simply vanished. 2. Ebola died a slow death but took with it a many lives. Black lives. 3. Terror changed a new face in the form of ISIS & Boko Haram and their violent videos. 4. Nepal shook with the quake & shook the world. 5. Greece stumbled & tripped. Germany pointed an laughed. 6. Nigeria, Australia, Lebanon, Pakistan, Mali, India & now France faced terror attacks. 7. Obama talked the walk on Syria, Putin walked all over Syria. 8. LVG & Jose walked all over themselves. 9. The refugee crisis stung Europe & its larger parts. The biggest since WW-Two. 10. iPhone 6 made money. 11. After AIDS & racism, US battled 'Donald Trump' as its biggest cranial infection. 12. Indians let Prem Ratan Dhan Payo make 100 Cr & a handful few watched Masaan. 13. We lost Christopher Lee, Omar Sharif, APJ Abdul Kalam, James Horner & Leonard Nimoy. 14. Ch...

Its weirdly wonderful. All my life I have grown up speaking the language at home. Not having heard it outside the 4 walls of my home or amidst a people I can count on my hands. So when we landed and we conversed with nearly each and every one around us in Kashur it was a feeling of familiarity and warmth. We were on a trip but at home. “I dream of lost vocabularies that might express some of what we no longer can.”  - Anon

I think I am going to write a book. Soon.

A scatter of yellow mingled with the tinges of white as light sneaked in through the whiskey glass that rested in the palms of his hand flattening the creases that held his future. A few shades escaped in the trickle that slid as the glass tilted towards his parched lips. His lips curved to a smile as he looked at his future ahead. All of three, she smiled back as well.

Tight hugs work better than bandaids.

चाशनी मोहब्बतों के लफ़्ज़ , मिले जो तेरी ज़ुबान से, फ़िज़ा में गिरे रंग गुलाल से, रोशन मेरी निगह कर गए । (When the sugary words of love met your lips, the wind red in hue brightened up my sight)